let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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