My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
