at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
