also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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