I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
