Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
