Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
