i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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