I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I fill condoms, not promises.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.