it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.