your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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