nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.