covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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