I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
