no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
