Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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