youre lurking in front of me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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