To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
