I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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