I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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