3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
now i know why i became what i already was.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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