she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
