Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
