don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
