So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
