He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
