Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
