I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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