I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
