Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize