Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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