is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
