we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
