I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
