So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
