they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Be still, my beating vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
