Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
