I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
