Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
