A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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