remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
