two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
