How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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