Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
