All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
