All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
