margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
