billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
