perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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