One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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