I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
