he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
