i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
