dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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