Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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