She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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