It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
