you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
