still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
