I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
