I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
