he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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