At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize