the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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