I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
