I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Two words: nipple clamps
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