Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Randomize
