OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
