So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
