I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
